


Date Night

by Rothecooldad



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: FAHC, GTA AU, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, No Proofreading We Die Like Men, fluff kind of???, i have no excuse right now, idk man i started writing this at 4.30 am, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 07:12:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11076609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rothecooldad/pseuds/Rothecooldad
Summary: Matt just wants to spend a nice night out with his boyfriends and the universe is conspiring against him





	Date Night

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All characters are based upon the internet personalities portrayed by members of Achievement Hunter and in no way are meant to reflect the lives of the actual person or persons themselves.

Really, as a whole, Matt was perfectly happy with being a known gang member.  
  
The crew was great, the pay was pretty good, and he could usually get just about anything he wanted with minimal trouble so that was a plus. Really it was a good job, honestly. Ten outta ten, would probably join again.  
  
And, alright, admittedly this wasn’t exactly where he thought he would end up, wasn’t anywhere close to the answers he would give adults in school who asked what he wanted to be when he grew up. (Though, he mused, maybe hacker and astronaut ninja president weren’t _too_ dissimilar. Perhaps. He’s sure it made some amount of sense. If you didn’t think about it.) But, hey, sometimes you just gotta go where life takes you, even if that just happens to be breaking the law for a living. Life’s just weird like that.  
  
And, sometimes, life decides that while you’re busy messing with lines of code to fuck with enemy gangs, you’re gonna also fall in love with two other members of your crew. And, it’ll be confusing and frustrating but eventually things’ll settle themselves and you’ll be relatively happy with how things turned out. That’s also a thing life does.  
  
So, really, you could say that becoming a Fake might be the best thing to happen to Matt, and he’d probably agree.   
  
But, fuck, sometimes he just needed a goddamn day off.   
  
Because, yeah, sure, alright. Matt had mostly made his peace with being actively wanted by the cops. He didn’t make a habit of spending a lot of his time in the public eye, but even the most incompetent of police forces hear things, and he knows that they’d love to get him off the streets, if not just to take the rest of The Fakes down a peg without their tech guy. That was _fine_. Hell, his boyfriends had literal actual bounties on their heads, so Matt was small game compared to that.  
  
That being said, just one fucking night. _Just one_. A single night amidst all the chaos that the rest of his days were filled with to have a nice fucking date with his two stupid boyfriends without cops or torture or fights that led to one or both of them _nearly fucking dead_. Was that _really_ too much to ask for?  
  
He'd even gone as far as to threaten both of his boyfriends if they even _thought_ about doing any of their shenanigans that night. Ryan was easier to convince than Jeremy, but Matt didn't trust either of them as far as he could throw them. And Matt wasn't exactly known for his strength, so his faith in having a nonsense free date wasn't very high. But, he _tr_ _ied_ , dammit.  
  
The night started out well. _Brilliant, really._ The boys had decided they were going to pick Matt up at his door. (Of course, they all lived together so this was extremely unnecessary, but it was so sweet that Matt gave them a pass on the ridiculousness of it.)  
  
They weren't dressed in anything too fancy, but the button ups and nice jeans both were sporting made them look good enough that Matt genuinely considered calling off the date and dragging them straight to the bedroom. But, tempting as that may be, Matt was actually trying really hard for them to have this night out and he even made reservations so you bet your ass he was making sure they actually got there in time.   
  
Thanks to Jeremy's driving (and a few red lights that he just so happened to completely ignore), they made it to the restaurant with time to spare and Matt was starting to think that maybe they could actually get through this night without a major disaster.  
  
(He would later curse himself for the unwarranted optimism, because _of course_ that was too much to hope for.)  
  
Dinner was lovely. Matt had a steak that he'd be thinking about for at least days to come and probably a couple more glasses than he should have of expensive wine with some name that he couldn't even remember, let alone dream of pronouncing. His boys had been on their best behaviors and they all just sat down and enjoyed a nice meal together. Matt’s head was pleasantly warm and fuzzy from the wine and his heart was warm and fuzzy from the date and all in all, Matt was having a great fucking time with the two people he loved more than anything.  
  
And then, the waiter came back with the dessert menu. Up to that point, Matt would have said he couldn't eat one more bite. That dinner was more than enough and he was plenty full. But, of course, in true Matt fashion, his eyes landed on the picture of a beautiful slice of tiramisu. Oddly enough, Matt found himself hungry again.  
  
So, he ordered it, and was more than a little disappointed when the waiter informed him that they were actually out for the evening. And, yeah, Matt understood and he could easily order something else. But, damn, the tiramisu looked so good and everything else just seemed to pale in comparison, so he politely declined and the waiter turned to Ryan and asked the same question.  
  
If Matt had to pinpoint exactly where things went wrong, it would probably be this moment.   
  
Yeah, sure, Matt really would have loved the tiramisu, but Ryan didn’t have to _pull out a knife and threaten the guy’s life for it in Matt’s honor._ He was just doing his job, for fuck’s sake. _And, where the hell did he even get the knife from?_ Matt was very strict about them leaving their weaponry in the car before they came in, but he should have fucking known to pat them down.  
  
Matt looked over at Jeremy, hoping that he’d be able to diffuse the situation.  
  
He really shouldn’t have been surprised to see Jeremy was grinning at the scene gleefully. His boyfriends were _the worst._  
  
Matt stood up quickly and tried to put himself in between Ryan and the poor dude who looked like he was about to shit himself.  
  
“Babe, it’s fine, let’s just pay the bill and go home.” Matt tried to convince Ryan, but it was already too late. It was very obvious that somebody had called the LSPD and Matt could already faintly hear the sirens in the distance.  
  
“ _Oh, you’ve gotta be shitting me._ ALRIGHT.” He grabbed Ryan’s wrist, mindful of the knife that was still brandished at the man, and gestured toward the exit with the other. Luckily, both of his idiot boyfriends realized the urgency of the situation, too, and soon they were rushing out the door to their car.  
  
They could see the flashing lights rapidly approaching, and they fucking booked it out of the parking lot.   
  
Matt could tell the exact moment when the cops realized who they were chasing, because he could hear the guns being fired in their direction. He regretted letting Jeremy convince them to bring the Rimmymobile, easily the most recognizable of their rides, but he just seemed so excited and it didn’t seem like that bad of an idea at the time and honestly Matt just had a hard time saying no to Jeremy in general.  
  
Ryan reached under the back seats and pulled out a case of fucking hand grenades that Matt wasn’t at all surprised to know Jeremy kept there and started tossing them out the window toward the oncoming cruisers.  
  
“Take that, ya fucks.” Ryan had screamed when the grenade exploded. Matt watched him throw his head back and laugh. The malicious grin on his face made him look sexy as hell if you asked Matt, but he was still fucking pissed at him.  
  
“Yeah, Ry, you get ‘em.” Jeremy encouraged, speeding up.   
  
Matt crossed his arms and fumed silently in the front seat until they were safely back to the penthouse.   
  
“Well, that was fun.” Ryan said, and reached over to give Jeremy a high five. Matt narrowed his eyes, glaring at them.  
  
When Ryan and Jeremy got out of the car, he stayed put, pointedly not looking at either of them. They had almost gotten to the door before they realized their boyfriend wasn’t following them.   
  
“Babe?” Jeremy called to him, his brows furrowed in a look of confusion.   
  
Matt didn’t respond, just huffed and got out of the car. He shouldered passed them, and slammed the door behind him.  
  
He was already in their bedroom, angrily stripping off his clothes by the time Jeremy and Ryan caught up. He didn’t bother turning to look at them when they entered the room.   
  
“We’re sorry.” Ryan spoke up quietly behind him. Matt didn’t say anything, pulling on one of Jeremy’s old ratty t-shirts he liked to sleep in. He could hear them murmuring to each other.  
  
“We didn’t mean to make you angry, Matt. We know you wanted a nice date, and we fucked that up.” Jeremy apologized.  
  
Matt finally turned around, facing them. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  
  
“Do you--,” he started, tripping over his words. “Do you guys even know why I wanted this night to go so well? Why I cared so much?”  
  
He opened his eyes just in time to see Ryan and Jeremy share a perplexed look.   
  
“Well, it’s not your birthday. Or, either of ours, for that matter.” Ryan said tentatively.   
  
Matt shook his head and frowned.  
  
“It’s our anniversary, assholes.”   
  
Jeremy and Ryan both looked extremely lost.  
  
“No? It’s not?” Jeremy argued, clearly trying to remember today’s date. “We didn’t get together until like. September.”  
  
“Not _that_ anniversary.” He told them. When he could tell that neither of them understood, he groaned in frustration. “I joined this crew three years ago today. It was the first time I felt like I had a family that cared.” His voice softened. “It was the first time I met you fuckers.”  
  
Realization settled over the room as Matt tried to will his watery eyes to stop their shit.   
  
“It’s stupid, I know.”   
  
“It’s not stupid, Matt.” Ryan and Jeremy both stepped forward to pull Matt into a hug. “We should have realized it was important to you.”  
  
“I just- I love you guys, a lot, y’know?”   
  
Jeremy pulled him down by his neck to plant a kiss on his lips before Ryan stepped in for his turn.  
  
“We love you, too, Matt. We’ll make it up to you.” Matt smiled at the tone in Jeremy’s voice as both of his boyfriends dragged him over to their bed, planting kisses on every available surface they could.  
  
Yeah, sure, Matt needed a break sometimes and yes, things often didn’t go his way.  
  
But, he had a great job and a great crew that he loved, and he had the two best boyfriends he could have ever asked for.   
  
So, really, he didn’t have much to complain about.

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes I just need to write about my boys while I ignore everything else  
> it happens   
> come hmu @ [ Jeremwood](https://jeremwood.tumblr.com) on tumblr


End file.
